a few things about me

I'm back again. I didn't have much time to write lately, but the days are getting easier. The school is almost over, which is great, because i can't wait to have some free time...And not having to see some people every day. It was a long year and sometimes it was really tough. I had this weird feeling everybody thought bad of me. Everyone felt sorry for my ex boyfriend and I don't know what he told people, but I was a bitch. At least some people thought so, until they heard the other part of the story, which I'm not going to write down. i just want some peace and quite and time with my friends=)
I've had some really great days lately...Some people really made my days nicer and let me know I'm loved^^ I love all of you who are there for me and I can count on! Thank you for being my friends =*
I should go now, i till have some things to do for school. But this time it's the last time^^

Be good, love
Neiia*

I found out all guys disappoint. When you think you can trust someone they let you down. And when you think you met someone special, he hurts you. And I just wish I'd meet someone that would really care about me. So I wouldn't be constantly afraid of him letting me down, leaving me alone, crying.

I thought I could count on you.

It's Friday. The day everyone think just about getting wasted and can't wait for school to finally end. For me it's like i'm waiting for something terrible to happen. Here at my place, everyone go to park. And today is even more special day, cuz last year of high school ended the classes for good, and there was of course a celebration. In the town's park. By the time i got there...People were lying on the grass totally drunk and the park was a mess...I got this weird feeling...I never liked these things because i'm sort of afraid of alcohol.I think people do the stupidest things when they're drunk. And when i see my friends go there, i just get scared for them. Some don't know boundaries.
And there's this other thing. Every time i go with them in the park...i get into a fight with my ex boyfriend. Who is one of my nearest friends now. I know that's kinda impossible, but he's important to me. I just can't date him anymore. Well that's not the point, the point is every time we're in park, there is something that makes us fight. Every single time! I hate fighting with him so much and today is one of those days...I didn't want to go there but i'd have to wait an hour alone, so i did. And when we got there i ended up standing there alone. And I was angry and i felt stupid so i said bye and went away. And he is now angry because i didn't say goodbye! It's a nightmare! I understand he doesn't like that...but why fight about it? It pointless. I just went home. Cuz it was stupid. I don't even know if i should care anymore. I do but i shouldn't....It's not always my fault. But in his eyes, i am most of the time.

People don't care. They see you crying, they see you break down. They hear you shout, scream. They know you need help. And they are passing by like if you were a fly. It's easier to act like nothing is happening. It's not...Not to you. But to me it is. And it's destroying me day by day. I feel betrayed, used, forgotten...I feel like crying but the tears won't come out. The truth about how i feel is hidden inside me, because nobody really knows.Or understands. And for once, i tell the truth about how i feel, about what really is happening to me...And people don't care. My friends know what's going on...But don't understand. I've learned how to hide things inside me and this blog is the only way to tell the world i'm screaming inside. What's wrong? I'll try to tell that story once. When I have the time to write it down.

Will I always be in love with guys it's impossible to have?? Come on...That sux...

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let us down, probably will. You'll have your heart broken and you'll break others' hearts. You'll fight with your best friend or maybe even fall in love with them, and you'll cry because time is flying by. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, forgive freely, and love like you've never been hurt. Life comes with no guarantees, no time outs, no second chances. you just have to live life to the fullest, tell someone what they mean to you and tell someone off, speak out, dance in the pouring rain, hold someone's hand, comfort a friend, fall asleep watching the sun come up, stay up late, be a flirt, and smile until your face hurts. Don't be afraid to take chances or fall in love and most of all, live in the moment because every second you spend angry or upset is a second of happiness you can never get back.